When we feel anxious it can be because we are uncertain of the outcome resulted from our actions or because we have no control in a situation.
As parents we often make comment that we feel we wear many hats and that our children expect and assume that we have the answer to everything!
The hats may represent being a;
Our reactions are dictated by how we feel at that particular time. Our response depends what, how, and when the question was asked!
How does any negative reaction make the child feel?
There is not one definite answer or solution as every person, and every situation is different. Whose eyes are you looking through when in that situation? You as you are now, you as a child or the child asking the question?
If you find it difficult to cope with any of the above and you feel relationships are suffering, please speak with someone.
Talking does help!
“I AM THE RESPONSIBLE PERSON FOR A ‘LOOKED AFTER CHILD’, I AM ANXIOUS HOW TO RESPOND WHEN SHE KICKS OFF, WHAT’S THE BEST WAY?”
Behaviour is predominantly dictated by our life experiences and anger can be a sign of feeling emotionally unsafe. In some situations a looked after child may be experiencing attachment difficulties which inevitably will effect their relationships.
To help strengthen an attachment with a child the primary ingredients are
Don’t ignore their demands for attention and always look at them and explain if you need a moment before you can respond. Be their safe place and security. It is not an aim to be perfect but to be authentic.
When an adult helps a child feel emotionally connected and cared for, the child’s feelings, such as anger, become less and begin to decrease.
Take time to reflect;
What is it like for the child to actually be listened to?
What’s making it difficult for you to manage this anger?
Reach out to any support network who will have previously been assigned to you.
If you feel you need additional professional emotional support talk to your GP who will go through your options.